Under the Table Read online

  “Zoey, you have sapped me of all my concentration for golf. And I’m hungry, for you and for food. What do you say we head back to my place, order more pizza, and spend the rest of the day in bed?”

  They were still quiet in the car on the way back into the city. But he had already changed. From the backseat of the car, he boldly placed his hand on her knee. Then he slowly let it creep up her thigh before coming to rest just under her skirt. He gently stroked her over her panties while still maintaining his gaze out the window.

  “Insatiable.” She wiggled then leaned over and whispered in his ear. “And really not fair.”

  He turned away from the window to bestow a most devilish smile and politely returned his hand to his own lap. When they got back to his place, she was going to teach him some lessons of her own to try and even the sensual score.

  “Can we stop at my place, so I can pick up a few things?” Zoey asked.

  “Certainly,” he replied, kissing her, then gave her address to the driver.

  Tristan asked the car to wait and accompanied Zoey up to the apartment. He wasn’t through touching her, he was so caught up in their euphoria. Before she opened the door, he stopped to give her one more thorough kiss, and she stuck the key in the lock.

  From the doorway, she saw a hulking figure standing in the middle of her living room with its back to the door. It turned around at Zoey’s sharp intake of breath and began to smile.

  Chapter 20

  “Derek.” Zoey stood the kind of straight that had Tristan taking his hand off the small of her back when she uttered the single word.

  “Hi, Zoey.”

  “What are you doing here?” she said as the initial shock started wearing off.

  Derek looked different. His eyes were clear, his posture straight. Gone was the belligerent slouch. With a congenial smile, he crossed the space between them while outstretching his hand toward Tristan.

  “Hey, man, Derek Sullivan. Nice to meet you.”

  Another first. He was nonconfrontational in his greeting upon seeing her with another man. Tristan took his hand with a brief nod. “Tristan Malloy. Pleasure.”

  Tristan’s manner was polite, but Zoey could feel the tension in his voice as well as in the room. After the handshake, Derek took Zoey by the shoulders and placed a light kiss to her forehead.

  “I’m sorry, babe. I just couldn’t wait any longer. I missed you so much. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

  He was saying all the right words, had struck just the right tone. It was more unnerving than anything else.

  “Where’s Ruth?” Zoey stammered, still trying to come to grips with what was occurring. Why hadn’t she texted her some sort of warning that Derek had come to the city?

  “Her and Blake left right after they let me in,” Derek said. “She told me I could stay here tonight to save myself a hotel stay. She seems really happy. Maybe this guy is the one for her?”

  Derek was casual in making with the chitchat, like he had no problem at all with his wife walking in, dressed in a tiny skirt, with another man. New Derek was so confusing. Zoey could feel her face start to flush again, this time with unexplained shame. Though she hadn’t done a thing wrong, she couldn’t bring herself to look directly at Tristan. She didn’t need to see him take several steps away from her; she could feel him moving away.

  “I think it’s best if I leave,” Tristan said gallantly. “Give you two and this reunion some time alone.”

  Zoey wanted to beg him to stay, to help her be strong and fearless, but the words couldn’t get past the lump in her throat. Her mouth wouldn’t open. All she heard was the pounding in her ears when she finally worked up the courage to turn toward him only to see his back walking away.

  “Later, bro,” Derek called after him. “Nice to meet you.”

  Once Tristan was gone, the fog started to lift and only the confusion remained. When she turned back to Derek, he was looking her up and down.

  “What’s with the getups?” he asked once his gaze reached her face and they made eye contact. “You two at a costume party?”

  “We were playing golf,” she replied slowly, so slow as to appear absentminded.

  “Look at you, city girl living the high life.” His attempt at humor sounded more like an insult.

  She felt her backbone trying to slip back into place.

  “Derek, what are you doing here?” she asked again.

  “My therapist told me if I took the chance and showed up early, it would be a good gesture to show you just how much you mean to me.”

  “You went into therapy? Why am I just hearing about this now?”

  “Because I was the one who screwed up and needed help,” he replied. “It wasn’t easy at first. I knew if I was going to make the changes you asked for, I wasn’t going to be able to do it alone.”

  He sounded contrite, something that was new for him as well. But Zoey was still far from convinced.

  “What angle are you working here, Derek?”

  “No angle, babe. No games. When you left me, it was a real wakeup call. It sent the clear message that I needed to make some changes if I had any hope of getting you back. I passed the test for my real estate license. I already have a job waiting for me back home. Waiting for us. I want to give you all the things I promised you when we got married.”

  “What about your other women?”

  “I flirted, okay? I flirted a lot.” He sounded defensive then quickly reined it in. “And that was unfair to you. But I never slept with anyone else.”

  “Not even while we were apart?” she probed.

  “I was as loyal as I’m sure you were.” It was a perfectly designed dig to get her to back off the topic. And it worked.

  “Let’s not get stuck in the past,” he said, real emotion starting to show. “I take full responsibility for our breakdown. In the ten months I’ve been sober, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. I was a rotten husband. Looking back, it’s easy to see why you wouldn’t want to start a family with the likes of me. I not only have you to thank for pushing me to change, but you’re also the reason I did it all.”

  “I told you before”—she felt her own emotions start to come to life—“I’m not sure I want children.”

  “That’s fine,” he was quick to concede. “Maybe we can talk about it again once you see what a great provider I can be.”

  Zoey’s head was spinning. It was too much, too new, too soon. He was much like the Derek she fell in love with, only more mature and accommodating. To her own surprise, she heard herself say, “Maybe.”

  “All I know is you told me I needed to be a different man, and I’ve been working hard toward that goal. I know I don’t deserve another chance, but I came here because I’m strong enough to hear your decision now. I’m hoping you’ll say yes. No, I’m begging you to say it. This is the last time. I swear.”

  Zoey had heard his speech before, more times than she could count. But he had managed to accomplish all the things she insisted he do, something she never thought possible. And he had done them quietly, without grandstanding. Took those painful steps alone toward her. For her. She thought about all the times he had called her and ended up snapping at her when she accused him. He was battling his demons, maybe trying to reach out to her for support. Now he was here, with his hat in hand and on a singular mission, to win her back.

  But then there was Tristan. Sweet, sexy, chivalrous-to-a-fault Tristan. They had no real history. There had been no declarations of love, just a gradual buildup of attraction that inevitably exploded in passion. He didn’t even stick around long enough to fight for her. That alone said something. He had gone through changes too, but his changes were all for and about himself. Tristan had only begun to tap into his potential. Even if he did have strong feelings for her, what were the odds that they were going to last? Didn’t he deserve the opportunity to experience all that was out there? Did she really want to spend her life walking him through the paces of the modern world?

/>   When Derek spoke up again Zoey was forced to stop thinking before she could get to her own answer.

  “Look, Zoey, I know Ruth said I could stay the night, but I want to go home now. And I want you to come with me. I don’t want to pressure you, but if you’ve given this as much thought as I have over the past year, it should be an easy choice to make. I love you so much, but more than that, I care for you and want to take care of you. I know I can be a better man with you by my side.”

  He had said every single thing she had always longed to hear, because he already knew all her soft spots. And he was right, there was no reason for her to wait until morning. After all the legitimate sacrifices he had made, she owed it to them both to give their marriage another chance.

  “Let me gather my things,” she said, without any enthusiasm.

  It was close enough to yes for Derek, but he made no moves to seal it with a kiss. He didn’t even try to touch her.

  “I promise you won’t regret it,” he told her confidently. “If you make it quick, we may even make it home before midnight.”

  Zoey went to the bedroom to throw everything she owned into the same suitcase she had arrived with, while Derek watched TV on the futon. Her movements were systematic and almost robotic, refusing to focus on anything other than the task at hand. Until she began packing her magic bag of spices. She ran her fingers over the tattered leather and fought back an unexpected wave of tears. She’d had such optimism when she’d bought it, so many dreams she was sure she would fulfill. She shook her head, angry at herself, and zipped up the suitcase. Then she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled out her phone. She knew she didn’t have much time. After texting Ruth that Derek was taking her back home, she found Tristan’s number and wrote him the following:

  HEY. I’M GOING BACK TO OHIO. IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

  She hit send, watched the text get delivered, and waited. Waited for some answer, any sign of him telling her not to go. Or to think it over. Or wishing her luck. Anything to show her that he cared one way or the other. After five minutes without any response, she dragged her bag into the living room and told Derek she was ready.

  Chapter 21

  Three hours later, they sat side by side in the souped-up Honda Civic Derek had acquired in her absence. To Zoey they might as well have been on opposite sides of the Grand Canyon. She stared out the window and wondered if he felt the emotional distance too.

  Her guess was no. The farther they drove out of the city, the more the old Derek began to peek out. He had assumed his usual driving position, reclined way too far back for comfort, his wrist propped up by the steering wheel, daring the car to waver out of his control. He was merrily droning on about all the things he had accomplished in her absence. How trying it was to work a full-time job and get his real estate license. How difficult it was to give up his old ways. How much happier he was now that he had. Simply rehashing all the same rhetoric he used to get her to go with him, only now with more self-congratulatory old Derek overtones. Then he ventured to how good she looked. That the few extra pounds she put on made her more curvy and luscious. He was really putting on the hard sell. She managed to keep up with bits and pieces of his soliloquy, nodding and smiling in the right places. The whole time, the same thought kept looping in her head. If I made the right decision, why do I feel so lousy?

  It was unlikely she would be able to stay silent the whole eight-hour drive home without him noticing. When she finally thought up something to say, it wasn’t much better. She blurted it by accident.

  “I feel like I lost my best friend.”

  “Ruthless has the right to move on. The fact that she settled on a lawyer is hilarious. I can’t wait to tell everyone back home.”

  Home. She wasn’t heading home, she was leaving it. When had that change occurred? She knew the answer. For the first time, she was grateful that Derek was so self-absorbed, he didn’t have a clue what she meant.

  “Blake is a nice guy,” Zoey murmured at the window.

  “Only your sister could get a dude to take on a judge.” Derek laughed. “He probably bangs her better than a gavel.”

  Some things hadn’t changed. No matter how clean he looked, how handsome and well put together he now appeared, Derek was still crude. She considered the possibility of this whole ordeal being one big fraud. Would he really go to such great lengths to paint a picture of success just to claim her? Sadly, she knew the answer. In the past, Derek had often thrived on spite. Convincing her to come home might be the only victory he wanted.

  Five years ago, she would’ve laughed at that joke. A year ago, she would’ve put up with it. Now, she wasn’t inclined to do either.

  “I’ve always wondered what your fascination was with my sister’s sex life,” Zoey pondered aloud.

  Derek sat up straighter and put both hands on the wheel.

  “Damn, baby, relax. It was just a joke. Or did big-city life beat the humor out of you?”

  He became defensive too quickly, like she had struck a nerve. Old Derek was reappearing in record time.

  “We’re from Cleveland, not the outback,” she snapped. “I’d like to think I would’ve outgrown tasteless jokes no matter where I lived.”

  “Point taken, Mom,” he said sarcastically.

  Zoey bit her tongue. She silently promised herself that if he so much as tried to start the motherhood conversation, she was going to open the car door and tuck and roll herself out onto the highway. She opened her window and let the warm exhaust-filled air blow through her hair.

  “Do you mind?” he said, using the button on his side to reclose her window. “I’ve got the AC on.”

  They drove in silence for several miles, his knuckles now white on the steering wheel. Then he tried a different approach.

  “Now that I’m going to be a real estate mogul, you’ll have plenty of time to get your little business going.”

  Zoey could only sigh. Despite all the condescension, she knew he was trying to extend an olive branch. He was so arrogant, automatically assuming that a Realtor’s license was going to be his golden ticket to riches, never dawning on him the amount of work that lay ahead of him if he had any hope of being successful. Equally depressing, she no longer had any desire to keep doing what only months ago was near an obsession. She knew the reasoning behind that disinterest as well.

  “I don’t think there’s a market for my kind of service in Cleveland.”

  “Wow. I can’t tell if you’re being defeatist or elitist. Either way, don’t beat yourself up. Not everyone has what it takes to be their own boss. You’re a good worker bee though.”

  Derek had apparently forgotten that he hadn’t held down a steady job for the majority of their marriage. He always did have a selective memory. Zoey didn’t bother responding.

  “Maybe it’s your fancy uptown boyfriend that’s made you so classy?”

  Zoey remembered all their discussions that quickly turned to arguments. Only his opinion was the right one. What he didn’t count on was her newfound capacity to ignore his goading.

  “Maybe.” She went back to staring out the window.

  “You like real men. You would’ve been bored with that Popsicle in no time.”

  She turned back to Derek. “Popsicle?”

  “Yeah.” Derek went back to reclining in his seat, mistaking her soft-spoken demeanor for submission. “You know, like he has a stick up his ass?”

  Only someone of Derek’s caliber would mistake good manners for snobbishness. As he laughed at his own joke, she pictured herself wrestling the wheel from him and driving them both into a ditch. A calmness came over Zoey. It wasn’t too late to rectify her situation. No need to kill anyone. All she had to do was make it to the next rest stop. She would call a cab from the bathroom and escape from a window if necessary. She didn’t even need to go back to New York. Since she’d burned her bridges with Tristan, there was nothing to get excited about back in New York anyway. At any rate, she would clean toilets in a prison
to keep from continuing this farce.

  “If I had known that was my competition, I wouldn’t have rushed to the rescue.”

  Zoey turned to him and tilted her head curiously. “Rescue? Really? I’m still wondering why you showed up at all.”

  “When Ruth called me, she told me I better hurry or I was going to lose out to someone who had turned your head.”

  “Seriously?” Her sister had betrayed her.

  “She didn’t mention that the man in question was a scrawny pretty boy. A robust girl like you needs a hard-muscled guy to stand next to, make you look proportionate. A dude with a gene pool like that will only give you chubby girls and wimpy boys.”

  “Stop the car.”

  Derek took his eyes off the road to give her a look that accompanied his now–half smile. “Say what?”

  “Pull the car over, I’m getting out.” Zoey replied as casually as if she were asking him to turn the car radio to a different station.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re on the turnpike. I’m sorry about the chubby girls comment, okay? I like your cushion, it’s better for the pushin’.”

  Zoey laughed, the kind of laughter that would’ve been a warning to a wiser man. She shook her head. “I don’t care about that comment. Or any of the others. I don’t need to worry about any children we would have. My biggest mistake was getting in this car with you. And luckily, it’s the easiest one to fix. Now pull this car over before I call nine-one-one and tell them you kidnapped me.”

  He pulled the Honda to where the shoulder met the dirt. “You’re a crazy bitch.”

  “That’s right,” Zoey said while opening the door. “I am. I’m the craziest bitch you ever laid eyes on. I can make Ruth look like a Girl Scout.”